The DM | Issue Seventy Six
A holiday guide (and a quick word from our sponsor)
Lol. No one is sponsoring us.
Anyway, hey everyone. Did you think we died? Lost at sea? Were you concerned? Thanks to those who sent flowers. There’s still time to do so if you haven’t, but we also accept checks. Blank is better but feel free to throw in a couple of zeros and we’ll make it work.
So yeahhhhh, elephant in the room, cards on the table— The DM has been in a coma of sorts. Is it terminal? Well.
This project was always supposed to be fun/easy/light/joyful. And it is! But it’s also time-consuming. And in a world that often forces you to monetize every. single. one! of your talents, burnout is the inevitable casualty.
So we took a break. We met for fries. And we had a think. Why not come back for a quick heartbeat, and give you the gift of clever word goo until we figure out what happens next? Let us not forget our humble start just four Novembers ago. How. time. flies. Though strange that we look younger than we did then? *hair flip*
So here we are. This isn’t a gift guide (we don’t really want to ever be a newsletter that is constantly telling you to just buy the things- though we do love the things) but it’s more of an all-encompassing gift, in the form of a guide. We’ll tell jokes, I’ll do tricks with my fellow… anyway.
In conclusion, we miss you, we really do. And maybe we’ll be back again someday soon. But in the meantime, take this as a little gift from our hearts and carts to your inbox and soul. Wherever you are, we’re sending you a wink and a cheers from across a virtual bar.
This one’s on us.
From Meg
Should I do a 12 days of Christmas here? Leave it to me to get carried away with a theme but whatever, let’s give this a shot.
Twelve carbs for loading
Eleven songs for singing (in your car specifically but if you don’t have one, I encourage you to get creative)
Ten times I’ve watched this (admittedly the grammar is a little Yoda, but the content is well worth the side eye)
Nine wigs a’waiting
Eight exclamation marking !!!!!!!! (a girl can dream)
Seven words of wisdom
Six socks for sitting. Socks are so boring you might think. You might think wrong. If there’s one thing I know really well, it’s a party sock. Six to get you started:
Five…. golden…. rings… no link here, I just couldn’t help myself.
Four movies worth viewing: Emilia Perez, The Substance, Anora, and WICKED (I haven’t even seen it yet, I just know you should and I should, and we should together, we're unlimited… I’ll stop)
Three recent screenshots
1: I hate this photo but I love this chick (Emily Oberg, founder of Sporty & Rich, a total evil queen, top pick for archnemisis in an upcoming Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen film, I digress). Why anyone would wear Uggs like this before or after a shower really grosses me out. I screenshotted it because I hate it, which I do sometimes.
2: The chicest table setting… though if I were to recreate I would most likely drink too much chenin blanc and probably burn the house down— a cool idea no doubt, as long as I have a sober caretaker.
3: The amount of time I have spent trying to find these gloves. I think they are called ‘open wristwatch gloves’ but I don’t want the ones from Amazon. I want them to be given to me by an elderly Italian woman in Milan as a gift for my beauty: this or nothing.
Two gifts for gifting… me
This sequin trench coat (IDK where I’d wear this but I would absolutely find an occasion. The coat would be the occasion? Works)
Eye Bijoux, s'il te plaît. I think I’m just in a really shiny part of my life. I want everything to sparkle. Especially my face.
And one unhinged holiday tree. This tree did acid and called it’s mom to talk about gravity. Tell me you disagree? I’ll wait.
From Devon
Welcome to my corner of The DM, or what I’m calling a sparkly little holiday grab bag full of random treats and links.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
…to eat, drink, and be merry, obviously:
Ina Garten’s chipotle and rosemary roasted nuts are the easiest, crowd-pleasing appetizer for which she should win a Noble Peace prize, in my opinion. Make this your back-pocket party trick.
Pomegranate margs or cinnamon maple whiskey sours to take when you go a-wassailing.
If you’re gearing up for a big cookie bake, consider Grossy’s rainbow sprinkle cookies, chewy ginger cookies (adding chopped candied ginger makes these an 11/10), chocolate peppermint cookies, or eggnog snickerdoodles.
A magnum or a bottle of pre-batched freezer martinis to elicit some ‘Wows!’ from the crowd at Thanksgiving or any holiday party on your calendar.
Making a list, checking it twice.
I know we said this wasn’t really a gift guide, but whoops! Couldn’t help myself:
The BEST sweater for the ladies.
For the cocktail lover who also loves snail mail.
To give to the littles: ‘magic marker’ pens, a cutie little cat purse, or edible bubbles.
For anyone who consistently contemplates stealing the robe from the hotel.
For the holiday hostess who always has a perfectly set table and the perfect platter for every dish.
Chili olive oil for the home cook or anyone who watches ‘The Bear.’
Rockin' around the Christmas tree.
…and deckin’ the halls, and wrappin’ presents:
A soundtrack to inspire some jingle bell rock.
The cutest mini vintage ornaments!
You could order ‘beautiful, smoky Citrus jewels’ straight from California- orrr you could save some coin and make them yourself. Low effort, high reward!
The perfect ribbon for tying on top of packages, bags of cookies, around glass stamps, to your ponytail, etc., etc. Get the dark green color, too, while you’re at it.
P.S. This one is also good for a little more plaid pizzaz.
Stock up on adorable holiday, Hanukkah, or skier hang tags by Sam to throw on to all of those White Elephant party host gifts.
You’ll need really cozy sweatpants (my only Black Friday sale rec) to do all your decorating (or watch The Family Stone on the couch) in. Also, a good time to bring back this:
Santa Baby, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot.
On my wish list (in ascending order from reasonable to absurd):
A lifetime supply of these face masks (side note: moisturizing face masks should be covered by health insurance if you live in Colorado).
A dress I’ll bookmark *just in case* I get invited to any last-minute holiday black tie galas (might need that aforementioned blank check first, though).
A beautiful watch—with a price tag so high that I think it caused me to have a brain aneurysm and trick myself into thinking I’m a fancy watch person/I need to find a Sugar Daddy ASAP if Santa Baby isn’t gonna pull through.
Happy Thanksgiving! Happy Holidays! Happy New Year! Love you!
P.S. Nothing holiday related, but—anyone out there:
watching Bad Sisters season two? (PSA to watch the show if you haven’t already).
listening to the new ‘Defying Gravity’ without having Wicked in theaters yet?