The DM | Issue Twenty Three
Or the one where we really, really, really wanna zigazig ah
I think I speak for Devon and myself (though I’ve never asked Devon this, I just sense it) that this is one of our most favorite times of the year. It’s MF gift guide season, it’s the only appropriate time to use the word chunky season (in reference to sweaters, exclusively), it’s rationalize a candle purchase because BRRR (said like Alexis from Schitt’s Creek) season. It’s wear a plaid button down because it’s seasonally appropriate but really it’s the majority of what’s in your closet season (for our male readership, a fond hello).
We’re not going to call it PSL season because (*shudders* with the obvious nature of the sentence) we can do better. But if you sneak in some secret diabetes in a sustainable paper cup, we will not judge or out you. Unless, of course, you are my husband, and then please see above.
Welcome to the hap-happiest time of the year. Here’s a song to go with that sugar high.
From Meg
You got gooped
The goop gift guides are one of my favorite gift guide releases of the year. Every November, I relish judgement and desire on the coveted items picked out by GP and her team of skincare and cardigan elitists. It’s equal parts aspirational and absurd. There is no other place on earth you can find things like a $10,500 Chanel sled or a $90 gift bow (That’s it. That’s the whole gift).
It’s not all 2,000 dollar chess sets though! Please for a moment imagine me on an airplane putting this ridiculous cover on my plane seat. Because ew! Seat germs! Hermes socks for babies! Why buy Air Jordans when you can buy a class to make them... live? I won’t even tell you what a bunny plug is but I will give you a clue. It’s final sale. You know, they say money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a private dream interpretation reading and some might say, that’s basically the same thing. See all the goop guides here.
Guides for the rest of us
After you relish in the absurdity that is the wonderful world of Goop, I have some more attainable (if perhaps not more practical) gift guides for your pleasurable viewing.
EyeSwoon, AKA Athena Calderone, AKA the most glamazon interior decorator, chef, author, beautiful person to walk the earth, put out her own gift guides this year and while they are equally as expensive, they are indeed as exquisite as AC herself. There’s even one for your dog, though most of the items would make my dog give me a side eye. Still, one can dream.
I want EVERYTHING at Food52 but their gift guides are particularly triggering and I actually had to close the page before I purchased three different cake stands. I hardly need one but they’re so beautiful I’ll just build my entire life around them. Right? A tortoise shell cake stand? Devon! Can you even?
And finally, I recently stumbled upon JG Gift Guides from the lovely Jen and... NEW NUMBER ONE FAN! First of all, year round gift guides are my love language. Second of all, Jen just gets it. She’s an expert at finding the best everything (wait for it) in masterful flat-lay all which link back to her site for you to buy. Some of my recent favorites include her October recommendations (number 4 +10 please), a pastry-specific delight, and every single one of her white elephant picks. The girl is GOOD. Give her a follow.
There’s no place like home for the holidays
Is it too soon to talk about the holidays so forthrightly? Methinks not. Especially when home tours (which are really just even more aspirational gift guides) are involved. I’ve been stockpiling a few tours that I’ve been drooling over these past few months for this very reason. Most recently, has anyone seen Vanessa Hudgens home!? GIRL. I never say girl this much but this newsletter has me in a way. She literally has a baby grand, for like, the look of it. Who. I just. I can not. Let’s continue.
I am GREEN WITH ENVY over this home. Literally green as in I would full on be nauseous at my own good fortune if I lived here. Also, it’s a loft in Paris because of course it is. Meanwhile, I will paint an accent wall and pretend it’s good enough. Le sigh.
In conclusion, I am attempting to plan a getaway to Mexico City for New Years and I simply will not rest unless we stay here. I just need 8,000 dollars. I guess there goes my budget for anything on the Goop gift guides.
A sign off in the form of additional linked gifts
If I ever win the lottery, THIS is the ridiculous present I’m buying for myself first. Party at my mansion. Stop on by.
Denver, looking for a delicious present? Get bready.
As someone who was recently forced into planning a virtual sip n paint for her team (sad clown emoji), HERE is something I wouldn’t mind heading up for my team. The branding! *Chef’s kiss*
From Devon
Totally consumed
Inspired by Haley’s weekly ‘15 Things I Consumed This Week’ newsletter, here are a few things I’ve eaten/drank recently that are notable and DM-worthy;
Salami and pickle grilled cheese, which you, too, should cook very soon, if not for today’s lunch (bonus points: I made them for a crowd using this method to - may I say/brag - great results)
Sparkling rhubarb apple juice, which I am *obsessed* with and you can order online
Olive and anchovy spaghetti, which is savory and simple and super
‘Healthy’ dairy-free hot chocolate, which, for those who might scoff at the name, is quite delicious and perfect for cold weather szn
Countless amazing things in Maine, which includes the state’s #1 lobster roll, oysters in a perfect setting, an ice-cold martini with oyster brine and olive juice, and an apple fritter that has me inspired to attempt making them at home
Tuning in
If you seek a seriously fun and guaranteed way to waste - er, pass - a fair amount of your time, check out this interactive, blast-from-the-past 90’s TV simulator for a whole slew of nostalgic programming from back in the day (the music video channels is the best IMO). Fellow millennials, if you’re ready to feel 100% old, hit up the 2000’s channel to see a lot of footage that you 100% remember - or pick any other decade of your choosing for a nostalgic ride. Let’s not remind each other that kids these days will likely watch these as a history class assignment.
Scrub it off
Like many of you reading this newsletter, I love me a nice exfoliating face mask. I don’t, however, love the oftentimes hiigh price tag that comes with it. So, after my third Denver winter with sad dry skin to show it, I was delighted to stumble across this DIY face scrub with just two ingredients - brown sugar and honey. I keep this stupid simple/cheap option in the shower all winter long, as it works some minor smoothing miracles on my v sensitive skin. Plus, it smells (and tastes) pretty sweet.
Really, really, really wanna zigazig ah
Yes, you guessed it - this totally nerdy one goes out to my girls, the Spice Girls. Last month, a few glasses in at a local fave, something magical happened - they played the ‘Spice’ VINYL (an album that came out 25 years ago this year btw) - and let me tell you it was a VIBE. A vibe that maybe just I and all the fellow folks who dressed up as the Spice Girls** in our early years would appreciate (‘Feeling Old Part Deux’ of my section), but a vibe nonetheless.
Anyways, after that experience paired with reading this very nice piece about ‘what the Spice Girls gave us’ (kind of a lot, in case you were wondering), I admittedly have been playing all the Spic-y hits fairly often while driving. I’d really appreciate it if someone could please share that they, too, have an embarrassing song/album on a repeat at the moment. But, if it turns out I’m the only one, too bad - I’m taking you all with me.
**See below for photo evidence - yes, I was always Baby Spice (the gingerness of my hair hadn’t come in yet), and yes, you’re welcome
And, before you go, here’s what I’m currently:
Also listening to: ‘Love and Hate in a Different Time’ by The Gabriels and ‘Sunflower, Are You There?’ by Dizzy and Kevin Garrett
Lol-ing at: a Succession insult index
Reminded of: what a f*cking delight Amy Poehler is, thanks to this podcast episode
Very into: the color palette of this tableware collection
Applying: lipstick in fall-y red and berry hues from this brand