The DM | Issue Thirty Nine
Or the one where we say please no photos, ok fine but just one
A friend recently described the feeling she had when she was catcalled by a bunch of construction workers outside her apartment.
“It’s like, I don’t want them to, right?“ She explained. “Like, stop! I know I look good. But also, when they don’t whistle at me, I’m kind of like… what the fuck? Should I change?”
No one ever has explained the female experience quite so eloquently as long as I’ve lived. Not Austen, not Dunham, certainly not Woolf. The desire for attention and wanting nothing to do with that attention is the great paradox of being a woman. And maybe being a human. I digress.
I share all of this to remind you that we are doing JUST FINE without your compliments and your social media call-outs BUT ALSO we thrive off your attention and love to hear how great we are. Please share us with your friends and your parents. Thanks in advance to my dad for the supportive message I will receive after reading this.
This week’s DM goes well with making friends with people who have apartment pools, ending relationships with people who want to go on a hike at noon (sorry, what), and enjoying time spent by yourself because you’re actually really great and we think so too.
From Meg
Billy Madison, Bobby Boucher, and some girl on TikTok
#SandlerSummer is here but don’t @ me. Basketball shorts are back baby, and I’m merely here to keep you relevant. I know what you’re thinking because I am thinking exactly the same, which is, of course, ABSOLUTELY NOT. But alas, not our decision. Just ask the 2.5B views on TikTok featuring Gen-Z girls wearing the shorts we hope were burned and buried in 1998. What’s next? Peeing in your pants? Everyone’s doing it.
There’s always money in the Dollar Tree
If you don’t appreciate an Arrested Development reference, you probably are also someone who also wants to go on a hike during the hottest time of the day. Anyway, this just in, if you’re looking to invest— the latest sexy stock is neither tech nor crypto, but good ‘ole dependable always there when you need it Dollar freakin’ Tree. I don’t normally get my financial advice from Vice but while strobe lights lie, arithmetic generally doesn’t. Bottom line: Netflix and Zoom down nearly 75%, Dollar Tree is up 68%. You do the math.
A thought I have every time I’m at the nail salon
So glad I don’t have a foot tattoo. Those suckers simply do not age well.
A final few thoughts
Everything, Everywhere, All at Once. Two parts absurd with a twist of Jamie Lee Curtis and just the tiniest sprinkle of the 2001 one-hit wonder, Absolutely (Story of a Girl) which I have always thought deserved far more credit than it ever received. Yes, I know what irony is. This movie will stick to your brain like super glue to your fingerprints.
This old(ish) next-door message chain where a woman is asking if she should have kids. Interesting channel of choice results in funny, sweet, and earnest responses.
Please for the love of god, someone tell me to stop buying ashtrays. I don’t even smoke. And yet…
From Devon
California dreamin’
A few weeks ago, I spent a weekend in Santa Ynez Valley wine country with some girlfriends. Though it’d been a minute since my last visit to California’s Central Coast, I was quickly reminded that what I really want is to be when I grow up is a ranch-living, wine-making, going-into-Santa-Barbara-on-the-weekends kind of person (hey, a girl can dream, can't I)?
Until that pipe dream manifests, I’ll hold on to (and hopefully revisit soon) the highlights, which included shopping at this store and then learning that the owner lives here, falling in love with this wine (served chilled), having the best lunch (fries included) here, and never wanting to leave this idyllic spot.
Also, Jenni Kayne now has a ranch house out there, so if anyone knows Jenni, please tell her that I’m an excellent houseguest and will bring cookie dough to drink with our rosé next to the pool.
Drinking the Koolaid
Whilst scrolling through the comments on this blog post, I came across a ‘recipe’ for a ginger limeade that is a straight-up delight and has changed my life (and by life, I mean my summertime drinking habits).
You can keep it non-alcoholic or add booze (tequila is my choice), but whatever you do, definitely keep it spinning on repeat.
Sparkling Ginger Limeade
Make ginger simple syrup: slice a thumb-sized nob of ginger and simmer with two cups of sugar and two cups of water until dissolved. Let steep for two hours and then strain.
Juice a bag of limes (or buy lime juice from Whole Foods)
Fill a cup with ice, pour in the desired amount of lime juice and simple syrup to taste, stir, and then top with sparkling water.
😎😎😎
Easily influenced
As a millennial woman who loves to shop, follows several *lifestyle* influencers on Instagram, and now writes a newsletter with links of things I’d like to buy, I'd be lying if I wasn't quick to hit 'add to cart' on the reg. My impulse buys have been on the budget-friendlier side as of late, and so, here I am, owning my #influenced truth and sharing my current cheap thrills:
PJs that also work as a cute 'set' to wear outside of the house (via @things.i.bought.and.liked)
Cat eye sunglasses, which have earned me some compliments from Gen Zs** (via @couldihavethat)
**Minus the one who, upon hearing that they were $12 sunglasses from Amazon, turned dark and yelled “Fuck Jeff Bezos!!!” before shaking her head and storming away. If you know me, you know I handle confrontation very well (lol jk), so naturally, I immediately turned deep red, awkwardly laughed, apologized profusely, and power walked to my car as fast I could, all the while vowing to never reveal my deep dark shopping secrets to strangers every again (except you, dear reader) 🫠
Take me to
The South of France, si vous plait.
And, before you go, here’s what I’m currently:
Wanting to drive: a Beach Mini
Scheming: to make homemade Chaco Tacos (RIP)
Listening to: the Neil Frances remix of ‘Boogie Oogie Oogie’ and with that, Funk & Soul Essentials
Putting: this green tahini sauce on everything