The DM | Issue Sixteen
Or the one where we die of dysentery
Devon and I are both heading west this weekend for no particular reason other than that is the American thing to do according to settlers on the Oregon trail. Prayers we don’t contract cholera and that bonnets finally make a real comeback. Just kidding, it’s called a family vacation. Prayers still welcome.
Anyway, between now and then, as we say yeehaw from the great states of Utah and New Mexico, we put together a plethora (or a cornucopia? Shoutout to pilgrims/quakers etc.) of nouns (people/places/things) to enjoy in our absence.
This issue goes well with a really well blended bag of trail mix, every single hit song from the years 1970-1979, and this sweet chair, which is a weekend mood regardless of environment.
Happy trails from The DM #16. Don’t forget to caulk those wagons y’all.
From Meg
I’m bored
If there is one thing I can’t stop buying right now, it’s cutting boards. When did I get this way? Who am I? I’m not even that good with a knife, I just like the way they look. At some point, you have enough, right? Wrong. The limit does not exist. Or it does exist and I just don’t want to acknowledge it. Regardless, if you’re bored with your boards, I’ve got some solid (had to) recs for you.
While you can’t go wrong with a boos block, woodn’t you rather take the path less carved and consider a custom cutting board in collaboration with a well-known chef?
Maybe you’re on more of a recycled materials trip? Have I got a tie-dyed tool for you.
I have these in three colors… and counting.
Please don’t cut anything on this board, but please do exhibit it as your display-only cutting board. Travertine is IN and I have a problem.
But maybe I’m just thirsty
Instead of purchasing more things, why don’t you just have a drink of water and see how you feel? If that didn’t help, it’s probably because you have a fever and the only prescription is drinking everything out of a can.
No, really, this is an intervention, America. We have officially gone too far. When you start to have festivals around not just a beverage but the way that beverage is served (see Seltzer Land), we must ask ourselves, to what end?
...Of course, we can ask ourselves that after we’ve tried just a few more canned beverages.
Like THIS sparkling ‘hop’ water that refers to itself as ‘calorie-free’ and tastes like beer but isn’t beer. Upsetting.
This one says it’s made from ‘upcycled grapes’ to which I say is that not just… wine? Ah, marketing!
And for the multitasking meditator, now you can also drink your zen!
Can we eat it? Yes you can.
Enough about drinking though, let’s eat. Fish in a can is having a mattress-level marketing makeover and as this article says, ‘tinned fish is a totally apolitical topic. It doesn’t have to do with culture wars. It’s something where all people can come together.”
Which... is a super beautiful and weird way to look at things and I can’t wait for a song about hugging a can of tuna comes out that we can all listen to as we eat it together. In the meantime, here are three ways to enjoy tinned fish that are both aesthetically pleasing and delicious.
I’ve talked about fishwife before and I will do so again. As Susan says in the review section, “Used in tuna salad. Really elevated the experience.” I concur, Susan.
Should you even eat canned fish if you don’t have a cute way to display it while you’re eating it? My husband would tell me to get over myself but he’s not here SO. You should buy this so you can think about how cute your tinned fish holder is while you’re eating tinned fish.
And why stop there? There’s an online museum dedicated to the art of canning fish. You can read the history of Portuguese fish tins (lol, can’t wait to read the stats on the people who clicked on this link) WHILE you eat canned caviar.
And remember, you my friend, are a catch. Bon app and adeus for now.
From Devon
Beachy keen
As much as I love Colorado, I will always miss the beach/ocean, and though I don’t spend my time oceanside often these days, I still always oogle the latest and greatest when it comes to beach accessories n’ things. My recent wishlist faves for taking to pools, lakeside parks, and reservoirs: a stylish ‘leisure chair and table’ // colorful towels like this and these // a super affordable foldable table // vintage inspire cooler totes // and a shirtdress coverup. Also, this inflatable beach pillow is pretty brilliant.
Summer school
It may be summer vacay for some (maybe none) of us, but should you be in search of a little personal schooling, head to this Twitter thread (yes, Twitter is still a thing). Here you’ll find a bunch of strangers’ recommendations for the best YouTube channels from which to learn about, well, really anything. As someone who still has many a Schoolhouse Rock tune in their head from childhood (‘Three is a Magic Number’ anyone?), it was fun to dive down this learn-by-video rabbit hole.
However, all that said, my *favorite find* was the ‘Casually Explained channel, which isn’t so much educational as it is stupidly simple, literally-lol humor. Your starter crash course: ‘Is She Into You?’
Let’s spoon
Allow me to introduce the spoonula, a mashup of a spoon and a spatula, and a recent purchase of mine. Giggle at the name as you will, but this skinny little tool has been a nifty addition to my cooking utensil collection, as it helps me snag the last of the almond butter from the jar and scoop out all of the dressing/pesto/whatever from the blender. In the market for some other multi-tasking gadgets? A mini offset spatula is my new best friend for frosting cakes, and this ‘ultimate fork’ is a seriously good secret weapon for fluffier scrambled eggs (aka, yes, it’s the fluffer of the kitchen set).
Choosing joy
I write about the pursuit of happiness here often - and in earnest - because, well, I think it’s important to prioritize (despite being somewhat of a teetotaller when it comes to cynicism). Enter NPR’s recent ‘Joy Generator tool, which you/we/me should bookmark for when ‘the blahs’ hit. Think cute animals to watch aka “cuteness-triggered positive emotion,”the pleasure of anticipation, and a sound-fueled trip down memory lane, all with some scientific facts to drop at your leisure. Click - and smile - away.
For when things get in tents
Camping enthusiasts with slightly ambitious camp cooking goals - rejoice! This excellent Eater camping feature is for you. Whether you’re looking for a whole camping style redeux and take it literally step-for-step, or opt for one/a few suggestions (my votes are for mixing up the ‘zingy daiquiri-esque’ punch, making some better s’mores, or simply reading ‘How Not To Die’), may this provide some inspo* for your outdoor living adventures.
*Intrigued, but not much of a ‘camping person’, eh? See: the best ‘glampsites’ in the US (who wants to come with me here?). Related, but unrelated: highly suggest giving Troop Beverly Hills a rewatch for some good ol’ Hollywood takes on ‘glamping’.
Come in! It’s nice in here!
Since we got on the subject of summer, and being joyful, and eating/drinking all the things - I was reminded of this post. So, here it is for you to read, *replace ‘2019’ with ‘2021’*, and for the love of all that is not last year, say yes to all the things. Cool? Cool.
And, before you go, a snapshot of what I’m currently:
Listening to: modern-day covers in the form of Waterfalls / Put Your Records On / I’m On Fire
Making: 50-50 gin martinis, cold brew spritzers, and mint chip smoothies for #balance
Excited to have arrive: a few disposable cameras, for that nostalgic won’t-know-if-they-are-blurry-photos-till-their-developed feeling
Still laughing about: this card I bought for a few August birthdays (sense of humor 100% required)
Saving: these folding videos, which are the social media version of Marie Kondo